I would like to open this post and say I respect everyone and what they choose to wear whether you are Muslim or non-Muslim. I am sharing my journey as a Muslim revert and my journey with wearing the hijab. I am a very relaxed person and would never judge anyone on how they express themselves. As I said before this is my own personal journey.
For 15 years I have been a revert Muslim (Alhumdillah!) and you would think maybe I would have been able to slip a hijab and call it a day. 100% NO. That is far from the truth.
Growing up I was never a fashionista, I just saw a style I liked and threw it on and hoped for the best. As I got older, I fit into a style of alternative styles such as band t-shirts and jeans. On occasion, I would wear retro outfits and style my hair in the same way.
When I reverted to Islam 15 years ago ( flipping heck where does the time go guys? I was 19 not long ago now I'm almost 35!) I put the hijab on easily studied Islam all the time and prayed and life was all well and good.
After a few months, my family and friends were set against the fact I was Muslim. I was told I was going to hell for turning my back on Christianity and told the way I dressed looked stupid. It hurt me a lot and I looked in the mirror and I felt so insecure. I lost my friends and many of my family stopped talking to me.
I stopped wearing the hijab.
I look back and realise that words can hurt people.
I spent the next 10-plus years not wearing the hijab wearing tight clothes and changing my hair into every colour you could think of. If it wasn't bright-coloured hair I would be wearing wigs.
As for being Muslim, that never stopped. I read the Quran many times over. I did my best to pray 5 times a day and when Ramadan came I went all in! I made sure to do it all. I have always loved Islam but wearing the hijab was something I struggled with for a long time.
Here are some things I struggled with
- People spoke badly about the way I looked while wearing hijab. You would be surprised how many hate comments even now I get wearing hijab. I just got to the point now that regardless of what you wear or look like people will always speak.
- Finding hijab styles that suited me or making a hijab fit right.
- Self-confidence. I didn't have it before but now I do alhumdillah.
Last year I started doing some research before Ramadan and decided that's it I will put the hijab on!
I put it on one morning and ever since then, I have worn it every day with confidence.
I realised Allah has made life a test and wearing a hijab now is easy for me.
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